picture at www.washingtoncitypaper.com

Washington DC’s City Paper reports that a neighborhood in the District finally has what the rest of the free world has – a cupcake bakery. But this one has a twist.  Olivia’s Cupcakes (located at 2318 Minnesota Ave. SE) has installed a sheet of bulletproof glass between the customers and the cupcakes. From what I understand, the neighborhood is a little rough, and the glass was installed to protect employees from robberies. Says owner Cindy Bullock:

“I have owned several businesses in this area and we have been robbed several times. We wanted to make [the shop] elegant and beautiful, but because of the teenagers and having my children here we wanted to protect them.”

I applaud people for trying to improve their neighborhood, and I do not condone violence. Not even against cupcakes. (Though their website makes me a bit stabby).

Sarah, I don’t want to go here when I visit, ok?

Yesterdays’ Business Review ran a story about Monday night’s abrupt closure of the 16-year old Latham restaurant, part of a bankruptcy reorganization by the restaurant’s San Diego-based parent company, DWH1 LLC.  The company’s Pittsfield, Rutland, and Manchester locations are still open (the Vermont locations operate under the Sirloin Saloon name). Steve Barnes over at Tablehopping shares the insensitive manner in which local staff and management were notified of the closure (there’s also a lot of discussion over there about the closure, including blaming President Obama and a generous job offer to former Dakota staff from Dominick Purnomo, of Yono’s and dp Brasserie).

I should say I’m not at all surprised at the closure.

I know it’s easy to be a prognosticator after the fact, but the last time I ate there I recall saying that the restaurant was not long for this world. The food was mediocre (at best), the salad bar was horrible, the portions were smaller, and the service was spotty. It was half-empty at 7:00pm on a Saturday. The kiss of death.

It used to be a decent place – consistent food, good service, decent prices. Too bad.

But now I don’t know where to go to dinner tonight.

Updated: now with more photos!

Spaghetti Ice Cream, featured at the Tulsa State Fair

I see it’s fair season once again. That explains why local newspapers and my Google Reader are filled to overflowing with announcements about rabbit tattoo clinics, has-been-bands-from-the-70′s-with-only-one-remaining-original-member on the main stage, and of course – things getting deep fried.  Which means it’s time for my annual fair post.

(Oops. My apologies. The has-been bands aren’t appearing at fairs – they’re in downtown Albany).

Amongst the flurry of press releases and news stories, a few things caught my eye:

• The Schoharie County Sunshine Fair is quite pleased with its new horse digs.  From its website:

Last year as you may know, we have erected a 240′ x 120′ horse arena cover. Since September of last year we have replaced all of our original footing and all the horse shows that have used it are more than satisfied.

• At the Bangor State Fair in Maine, escape artist Michael Griffin has issued a challenge – anyone who can tie him up with rope in a way that he can’t escape will walk home with $1000.
• The Ohio State Fair‘s traditional butter sculpture of a cow and calf will be accompanied by a greasy tribute to the now-defunct Space Shuttle program: a floating astronaut and an intricately-carved space shuttle cockpit.
• The Iowa State Fair (“Nothing Compares”) also has a butter sculpture of a cow – cleverly named The Butter Cow – but this year, they’re adding an altruistic twist: a can sculpture to benefit the food insecure (I think they meant to say “hungry”). Thousands of canned goods will be used to create replicas of said Butter Cow, a milk carton, and a market hog, all frolicking in a canny field of corn and soybeans. Sorry, no picture yet – the Iowa State Fair doesn’t open til August 11.
• Our very own Great New York State Fair has announced that among its food offerings this year will be a diet-crippling burger that tips the scales at 1500 calories. The gut-busting “Big Kahuna Donut Burger” is a half-pound patty topped with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and onions, all sandwiched between two grilled glazed donuts. Yawn. We’ve seen these before (here, here and here). The website says “only at the Great New York State Fair.”  That’s not even *kinda* true.
• The Minnesota State Fair features “Walleye on a Stick”, an homage to the ubiquitous ichthyoid found in its 10,000 lakes. I’ll pass.
• Missouri’s State Fair has a handy online “Food Finder” which allowed me to track down these gems:
• Big Fat Bacon – a one-third pound slice of bacon fried and carmelized with maple syrup, served on-a-stick with dipping sauces
• Spam Burgers – breakfast sandwiches (Spam, egg and cheese), grilled open face Spamwiches, Spam hot dogs, Spam chili dogs, Spamburgers (fried Spam served on a bun with cheese and/or pineapple), Spam curds (Spam and cheese battered and deep fried), and possibly Spam eggs sausage & Spam (that’s not got much spam in it)
• Scotch-Eggs-on-a-Stick – hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausage, rolled in bread crumbs and deep fried
• Alligator Three Ways – Seasoned alligator sausage on-a-stick, smoked or barbecue alligator ribs, fried alligator legs
• And, not to be outdone by any damn Yankees, the State Fair of Texas features Fried Beer™, a ravioli-like pastry that spills out beer when bitten.  Creator Mark Zable won Most Creative in the fair’s 2010 Big Tex Choice Awards concessionaire contest.

Sounds like food purveyors across the nation are looking for new and innovative ways to kill us all.

This is everything that's wrong with America

More photos after the jump…

Eh. Just another donut burger

Spamburger. Why?

Big Fat Bacon. This doesn't look all that bad, actually.

Fried Alligator Leg. No thank you.

This is what fried beer looks like. Now you know.

Walleye on a Stick.

• 

  Doesn't "halal" mean "healthy"?

  Crave Shack, the Lebanese burger-joint down in Queens, offers a version – made with halal turkey bacon, instead of the pig-based variety.  Even owner Firas Zabib admits that it “sounds pretty gross”.  SOUNDS pretty gross?  Look at that thing, you moron!   Has the grease rendered you blind?  (Someone please tell me they thought that line was funny.  I just laughed out loud at myself).

Gateway Grizzlies Burger. A starving bear wouldn't eat this thing.

• The Gateway Grizzlies (independent baseball franchise in Sauget, Illinois ) teamed up with Krispy Kreme in 2006 to create what they call “Baseball’s Best Burger,”  consisting of a burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut. (Cowards. Paula used 2 whole donuts – none of this “cut it in half” bullsh*t.)

The burger was an instant hit, and continues to be sold at their stadium.  The vomit-inducing delicacy was even featured on a recent episode of “Man vs. Food”.  Man loses.

The Wisconsin State Fair's Krispy Kreme cheeseburger (photo by Brad Vest, MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL)

• The Milwaukee Journal Sentinal reports that the most popular new food addition at the Wisconsin State Fair (which closed on August 15) was the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger.  Perhaps inspired by the monstrosity served to Gateway Grizzly fans in neighboring Illinois, the $5 Krispy Kreme burger features a beef patty topped with melted cheese and a Krispy Kreme doughnut for a bun. And, as if their vascular system wasn’t already begging for mercy, those with a death wish adventurous eaters could top the burger with chocolate-covered bacon on a stick.  For only one dollar more!  That’s excluding emergency room copays.

And – chew on this – they expected to sell up to 10,000 burgers over the ten-day fair.

What’s the damage, calorically?  About 1,000, according to Nathan Morrissey, executive chef at the pavilion where the miscreation was proffered to fair-going cheeseheads.

But, I think the bigger question is: WHY, OH GOD, WHY?

“Well, let’s see,” Dave Owens of Appleton, Wis., said at the fair’s opening day this month. “It’s a doughnut with chocolate-covered bacon and a cheeseburger put together. How could you go wrong?”

Well, Dave, perhaps that’s a question better suited for your cardiologist.

Well, I think Domino’s has earned a spot in its Fat Hall of Fame (I don’t know if they really have one, but if they did, this should be in there):  Pasta Bread Bowl. 

Fat in a Bowl

Exactly what it sounds like: a creamy, saucy pasta dish baked into a pizza dough bowl.  The tagline: “Pasta So Good, You’ll Devour the Bowl”.  Your calorie-laden choices include Italian Sausage Marinara, Pasta Primavera, Chicken Alfredo, Three Cheese Mac ‘n Cheese, and Chicken Carbonara.  Good Lord, these things are a carb-addict’s wet dream!   If I were you, I’d call my broker NOW and buy stock in insulin pumps.

Not that Domino’s was ever famous for introducing low-calorie fare, but come on!    Their Bacon-Wrapped Cheese-a-Nator Triple Crusted Deep Fried Pizza cannot be far behind.

According to the Detroit Free Press, Domino’s Chief Marketing Officer Russell Weiner said, “This is pasta like you’ve never seen before and can’t find anywhere else.  The pasta scored extraordinarily well in our product tests. Consumers were amazed by the idea of the warm bread bowl and the pasta being baked simultaneously.” 

Amazed, indeed.  More like horrified, I would imagine.   Surprise – they haven’t released the Nutrition info for these puppies yet.  It’s got to be incalculable, like pi.  But, don’t despair.  If you’re watching your waisline, Domino’s offers you the option of ordering the pasta WITHOUT the breadbowl.  Because every 5,000 calories count.

The people who are renting the house my grandparents used to live in (they both passed away last summer) are convinced that the house is haunted by them.  So, they have hired a “ghostbuster” (her word, not mine) to see if it’s true.  No one else has ever lived in that house, so if it’s haunted, it would be by them.  Lisa claims that lights go on and off, stuff gets moved around and tossed about the room, etc.  Really, she has no reason to lie, and she’s a perfectly normal and nice person, but…

I normally think that kind of thing is bunk.  I’ve never seen anything, heard anything, or witnessed anything strange, even in a place that is deemed to be “haunted”.  Not for lack of trying, though – I’ve been on a couple ghost tours (one in Schenectady, one in Salem, Mass.), did a radio show from a reputedly-haunted restaurant in Saratoga Springs (The Olde Bryan Inn), fooled around with a Ouija board in high school and college, and I watch Medium (okay, maybe that’s a stretch).  My sister claims that the old farmhouse where we grew up was haunted, but I never saw what she saw (faces in the windows, shadowy figures in the closets).  I’ve never seen anything.  Although, last year, right after my grandparents died, I did have a very strange experience while cleaning out the cabinets in their kitchen.

I guess if you believe in ghosts, by extension you believe in an afterlife.  But I really don’t.  So, I don’t know what to think.  I guess I’ll wait til the Ghostbusters come and see what they say.

My brother-in-law, Michael Plotts, passed away last Wednesday evening, February 18, 2009.  He leaves behind his wife Barbara (my husband’s sister), and two beautiful little girls.  Bob and I are utterly heartbroken.  We watched as Michael miraculously rebounded from a dissected aorta last summer, and were ecstatic at his remarkable recovery.  Then, sadly, he was abruptly taken away from us last week. 

Michael was only my brother-in-law for a short period of time, but I feel honored and blessed to have had him as part of my family. He was a brilliant, side-splittingly funny, wickedly charming, and genuinely caring person. His love for his wife and daughters was overwhelmingly evident, and I know that his memory will live on as Morgan and Maddie grow up.

The first time I met Michael was around Thanksgiving, about two years before I married Bob. The four of us (me, Bob, Barb, and Michael) went out for dinner at a German restaurant in Upstate NY. The waiter was Asian, a fact which did not go untouched by Michael’s razor-sharp wit. He remarked to the poor waiter: “There’s nothing sadder than an Asian guy in lederhosen.” I liked Michael immediately.

Since then, I had many occasions to just “hang out” with Michael, Barbara and the girls. Even when Michael was recovering from his illness last summer, he managed to be upbeat, positive and even downright comedic – Bob and I were endlessly entertained by his “U.S. Marshals Version” of the Three Little Pigs game that Morgan and I were playing.

And we’ll always have the photo of him from our wedding, where he gave Barbara “bunny ears” that she didn’t notice until the prints came back from the photographer months later.

I wish I had known him longer, but I am grateful for the time that I had.

Michael, we will miss you terribly. Your daughters are very precious to me and Bob, and we will make sure they grow up knowing how wonderful you were.

While this is not a surprise, it is still sad, and I am dreading this wake and funeral – which will be an exact duplicate of my grandmother’s 3 weeks ago. The only difference with this one is that my family is no longer pretending to be a family anymore – there have been so many ridiculous disagreements and misunderstandings since my grandmother’s passing, that this is likely the last time I’ll ever see any of my cousins, aunts, or uncles. At least I’m not sad about that.

I’ll be heading out of town for a few days, so please pardon my lack of posts until I return.

-W

Well, here it is: my first delivery from my share in Eight Mile Creek Farm. Here’s what I received this week:

• Arugula
• Radishes
• Broccoli Rabe (rapini)
• Thyme
• Sage
• Salad Greens
• Garlic Scapes

This being the first week, there’s not a whole lot available, understandably. There’ll be more and more as the summer progresses. I supplemented my box with a few other purchases from the Schenectady Downtown Farmer’s Market:

• Yellow Zucchini
• Pattypan Squash
• Peas
• Spinach
• Butter Lettuce

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of color in this week’s produce selection at the market. I was hoping for some berries or other fruit, but it may be too early for that. I will have to stop at Bowman Orchards on the way home from work one of these days, or maybe tomorrow for some U-pick strawberries! The strawberries in the supermarket these days are awful – plus, they’re trucked in from California, and that’s just wrong.

I will be making the broccoli rabe and peas for dinner tomorrow night, to go with Grilled NY Strip Steak and baked potato. And, I found an interesting recipe for fried zucchini. And maybe some arugula pesto.

Other than that, I’m not excited about preparing anything else I’ve received – I’m pretty much underwhelmed. But, that’s the “fun” involved in purchasing a share – you don’t really know what or how much you’re going to get from week to week.

Something of interest to those of you who may shop (or want to shop) at the Schenectady Farmer’s Markets: they now accept debit cards! Just tell the Market Manager how much you want to buy, he’ll swipe your card, and give you $5 tokens to redeem at the booths. It’s that simple! The farmers will give you change in cash if your purchase doesn’t reach the $5 threshold. Finally! This is really a godsend for those of us who don’t carry cash.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣

A few personal notes:

My brother-in-law is recovering from yet another surgery (3 in all), and is again on the road to recovery. If all goes well, he should be returning home early next week. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

And, my dad called me today to let me know that my grandfather realistically has only a few days left. Dad’s decided to let the doctors take Papa off all the steroids that were keeping him alive, so his suffering can end. Looks like I’ll be headed out of town again this week – hopefully in time to say goodbye. My dad is going through so much right now, I just can’t stand it. Losing both of your parents in the same month – I cannot imagine.

Lately I’ve been saying to myself – “Life is stupid.” It makes no sense – I go through life, working for other people, taking their crap day after day, accumulating things, being so “busy” with meaningless activities, not able to take time to be with my friends and family because work is so “important”, accumulating more things, trying to live a perfect life with a perfect body because society says I’m worthless if I’m not thin – for what?? So I can die? I don’t get it. Maybe my priorities are so screwed up that I’ve lost my way – I don’t know. Watching my grandparents die has really left its mark on me. Life is just so stupid.