I’d love to be more adventurous, really I would, but there are a few things that nag me about what I consider “weird foods”. Knowing full well that my foodie card is about to be revoked, perhaps I should explain myself with some specific items that give me the creeps:

• 

  Nope. No sir. Not gonna happen.

  Brains/other organs – really, as an American living in the land of plenty, I do not feel the need to eat “snout to tail”.  Livers, stomachs, tongues, cheeks, tails – all things that should be buried along with their now-dead owners.  I’d truthfully like to quit eating meat altogether, but I really do like hamburgers and boneless chicken wings.

• Insects/Worms/Arachnids – again, no need.  I get plenty of protein and don’t need bugs in my diet.  Plus they are squirmy and disgusting (especially worms).  They’re really not food.  Come on.
• Frogs – they are slimy and green. Yup, that’s my reason.
• Eggs, other than chicken – I’m not really sure why I’m averse to this one.  But, for some strange reason, the thought of quail eggs or duck eggs just makes me want to retch.  Probably just because I’ve never eaten anything other that chicken eggs.  Friends of mine (Alisa & Stephen) keep extolling the virtues of duck eggs, but the only way they’re going to get me to eat one is if they sneak it in an omelet they make for me.  Hint.
• Oysters/Clams/Mussels – I have been known to enjoy Oysters Rockefeller and fried belly clams, but I’m not a fan of the raw bivalves.  I have eaten them, and they remind me of cold mucus.  I’m done with them.  I tried.
• 

  Please don't eat me! I'm cute and fuzzy!

  Rabbit – I had a harrowing rabbit-as-food experience when I was a kid, and it will never leave me.  We were eating dinner at my grandparent’s house one night, and Grandma was cooking up a rabbit that Papa had apparently shot that afternoon.  I pulled up a chair to the kitchen sink, and peeked my little head over the side and saw the distinct shape of a rabbit, ears and all from what I remember, all skinned and purple.  I can still see that image in my head.  I can’t remember if I actually ate rabbit that night (I doubt it), but I know I have no interest in eating it now.  Heebie-jeebies.

• Goat – I would probably eat this if I was traveling in the Middle East.
• Whole Lobster – too much work, too many eyeballs and antennae, and too much green slimy stuff.  Lobster meat, lobster claws, lobster tails – all delicious and acceptable.
• Okra – I am sure it doesn’t taste all that bad, flavorwise, but every description I’ve ever read uses the words “slime” or “slimy”.  As in, “Certain cooking techniques will prevent your okra dish from being overly slimy”.  Which means, “Oh, it’s gonna be slimy, all right, nothing you can do about that.  But you can maybe cut down on the sliminess by 0.2% by deep fying and slapping some hot sauce on it.” I will not eat any food that has the slimy built right in.
• Tapioca Pudding – what the f*** is tapioca anyway? Okay, I know what tapioca is.  But why would I want to eat it?  The texture of those knobbly little slimy balls makes my stomach turn.  Add creamy milky pudding to that party, and get ready to swab the deck, Cap’n.  Same goes for Bubble Tea (yes, I know, it’s tapioca) and Cream of Wheat (yes, I know, not tapioca).  I just threw up on my keyboard.

Other weird food things about me:

• I will only order fish in a restaurant, and will never cook it at home.  Once bitten with food poisoning, twice shy.
• I enjoy day-old sub sandwiches, where the tomato and lettuce juices seep into the bread and make it mushy.
• I like to dip Wendy’s french fries into a Wendy’s chocolate Frosty.  I haven’t done this in years, but I know I like it.
• I freaking hate celery.
• I do not like Bailey’s Irish Cream.  Many people find this very odd.
• My favorite breakfast is a butter & peanut butter hardroll from Stewart’s.  Only 86 cents!
• I dislike regular raisins, but love golden raisins.
• I cannot tolerate sour things.  Have you ever heard of supertasters?  In a nutshell, supertasters are people who experience taste at intensity levels way beyond normal people.  Personally, I believe that I am a sour supertaster, as I am unable to even *think* about a sour food without my mouth watering and my lips puckering.  I have not been tested, but I know this is true.

What’s your food weirdness?

• 

  Doesn't "halal" mean "healthy"?

  Crave Shack, the Lebanese burger-joint down in Queens, offers a version – made with halal turkey bacon, instead of the pig-based variety.  Even owner Firas Zabib admits that it “sounds pretty gross”.  SOUNDS pretty gross?  Look at that thing, you moron!   Has the grease rendered you blind?  (Someone please tell me they thought that line was funny.  I just laughed out loud at myself).

Gateway Grizzlies Burger. A starving bear wouldn't eat this thing.

• The Gateway Grizzlies (independent baseball franchise in Sauget, Illinois ) teamed up with Krispy Kreme in 2006 to create what they call “Baseball’s Best Burger,”  consisting of a burger topped with sharp cheddar cheese and two slices of bacon. The burger is then placed in between each side of a Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnut. (Cowards. Paula used 2 whole donuts – none of this “cut it in half” bullsh*t.)

The burger was an instant hit, and continues to be sold at their stadium.  The vomit-inducing delicacy was even featured on a recent episode of “Man vs. Food”.  Man loses.

The Wisconsin State Fair's Krispy Kreme cheeseburger (photo by Brad Vest, MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL)

• The Milwaukee Journal Sentinal reports that the most popular new food addition at the Wisconsin State Fair (which closed on August 15) was the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger.  Perhaps inspired by the monstrosity served to Gateway Grizzly fans in neighboring Illinois, the $5 Krispy Kreme burger features a beef patty topped with melted cheese and a Krispy Kreme doughnut for a bun. And, as if their vascular system wasn’t already begging for mercy, those with a death wish adventurous eaters could top the burger with chocolate-covered bacon on a stick.  For only one dollar more!  That’s excluding emergency room copays.

And – chew on this – they expected to sell up to 10,000 burgers over the ten-day fair.

What’s the damage, calorically?  About 1,000, according to Nathan Morrissey, executive chef at the pavilion where the miscreation was proffered to fair-going cheeseheads.

But, I think the bigger question is: WHY, OH GOD, WHY?

“Well, let’s see,” Dave Owens of Appleton, Wis., said at the fair’s opening day this month. “It’s a doughnut with chocolate-covered bacon and a cheeseburger put together. How could you go wrong?”

Well, Dave, perhaps that’s a question better suited for your cardiologist.

Considering my journey towards near-meatlessness, Jennifer thought I would be interested in this seminar. And, of course, I am! Based on the description of Kim’s work from Culinate’s editor, it sounds like Kim and I have the same meatless-eating goals:

Kim O’Donnel has finished recipe-testing and writing for her soon-to-be-book,Licking Your Chops: A Meatless Guide for Meat Lovers. I e-chatted with Kim about what that multi-month project has meant for her own diet. “I definitely have less of an appetite for meat,” she says. “Get a craving about once a week these days — and when I do eat it, it tastes GREAT. Looking forward to roasting a chicken this weekend.”

Many months ago, Kim and I talked about the idea for her book, something for people (like her own mother) who really like meat, but just want to eat less of it. From the sounds of things, Kim’s managed just that. “I had no idea vegetarian food could taste that good,” wrote one of her testers.

I’m in.  And for those of you who can log in at 1:00pm today (January 28), here’s the link: http://www.culinate.com/columns/table_talk/table_talk_january_28

And Daniel: for the record, you were right (but you already knew that): going cold tofurkey probably is not for me, since I do enjoy a nice flat iron steak.

I know that I owe you at least two blog posts: one on my trip to Washington DC with Shannon back in November (!!!), and one from the Albany Wine and Dine that I attended with Chef Mark as his sous-chef. I will get to them – there’s just so much to write and I don’t have the energy right now…you’ll have to amuse yourselves for now by looking at my photos (there’s a link to my Flickr page over to the right).

But I do have one thing to mention today – I’ve begun the process of becoming a vegetarian. I know it’s going to be a long transition, but I’m making some positive steps in the direction in which I’d like to head. What, you ask, gave me the kick in the ass? This book I picked up at the library: “The Face on Your Plate: The Truth About Food,” by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson. I was barely into the chapter about factory chicken farming and I had to go throw up.  Blech. I was also startled by a statistic that Masson mentioned: going vegetarian saves the lives of nearly 2000 animals – not a trivial thing. Very eye-opening and motivating.

So, today’s trip to the supermarket was the first trip in which I consciously made vegetarian/vegan food choices. Now, hubs isn’t going quit being a carnivore, so I had to purchase some chicken to keep him happy. And, I’m not going to waste the meat that we have in the fridge. So, it’s going to be a transition from some meat to no meat.

In the interest of full disclosure, I had a ham sandwich for lunch today.  I felt bad the whole time, though.

Here’s the deal: this woman (her name is Christine Dougherty) claims to have lost more than 50 pounds over two years by eating the “Fresco” items on Taco Bell’s menu.  Sounds a lot like Jared from Subway, does it not?  Actually, it sounds like a lot of crap (insert Taco Bell joke here).

Of course, there’s always the fine print associated with a claim as staggering as Christine’s.  For instance, take a look a this image from one of the spots:

The fine print behind Taco Bell's "Drive-Thru Diet"

1250 calories a day.  Uh, that’s what your doctor (and other reputable weight-loss programs) would tell you is the bottom of the calorie range for weight loss in women.  So, stay with me here, it’s a simple matter of calories in, calories out.  Burn more than you eat, and you will lose weight.  I haven’t seen the statement about Christine “incorporating Taco Bell’s healthy choices into a regimen of diet and exercise,” but I’d be willing to bet my bottom burrito that it’s somewhere on their website.  You can’t lose weight any other way (except surgery)!

And the “Drive-Thru Diet” conveniently ignores other valuable nutrition information – fiber, vitamins, sodium – that one needs to determine of a diet is healthy or not.  My guess is NOT.

Bottom line, as usual: To lose weight, you can eat anything you want, as long as you burn more than you consume.  This is just a clever marketing ploy by Taco Bell, strategically placed at the beginning of the new year.  People are always searching for the magic bullet, a plan which will erase years of treating their bodies like garbage disposals.  I can say with complete certainty that eliminating Taco Bell food from your diet is a good way to start.

Findings from a new study suggest that some fats cause our brains to turn off the “I’m full” signal that tells us when to stop eating.

Here’s what they think happens: we eat the fat, it goes to our brains.  Once they get there, the fat molecules tell the body to just ignore the appetite-suppressing signals from leptin and insulin (those pesky weight regulation hormones).  This biological fake-out, the study says, is caused not by just any fat, but by palmitic acid – a fatty acid that is found in foods with high saturated-fat content.  Oleic acid, (a healthy monounsaturated fat, found in olive oil) did not cause this effect.

And, the worst part?  The effect can last for three days.  THREE DAYS.  Which means that if I gorge myself on saturated fats on Friday night, on Monday my brain still won’t know when my body’s had enough food.  I guess this explains why it’s so hard to get back on track after a weekend of bingeing.  And, now that I think about it, why it’s probably NOT a good idea to eat your way through the wekeend before you start a new diet.  You’re literally setting yourself up to fail.

This study was conducted in rats, of course, but it makes sense to me.  Actually, I know it’s true, from personal experience.  I am a member of Weight Watchers, and I weigh in on Thursday nights.  Following my Thursday night meeting, I am starving.  Sometimes I eat pizza, wings, ice cream, etc. that night, telling myself I’ll get back on track in the morning.  Other nights, however, I stay completely on program and have a healthy dinner. Guess what happens.

The weeks that I pig out, I can’t really get back on program until Sunday or Monday.  I am ravenously hungry all weekend, and I cannot control what I eat (I know this sounds completely stupid, but this is why I have always had a weight problem).  The weeks I eat normally, I can stay on program all weekend, even while eating out.  Now, I know exactly why that is, and I will hopefully be able to apply this new knowledge in the future.

Here’s the full press release, from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center.

Fat Rat

Not as Green as You Think???

I just found a very interesting interview about sustainable food on NPR’s Science Friday.  Author James McWilliams has just written a book called Just Food: Where Locavores Get It Wrong and How We Can Truly Eat Responsibly.  In the book, McWilliams claims that eating locally is not the “best” way to be a responsible conservator of the Earth.

What’s McMillan’s problem, you ask?  He feels that locavores have become too fundamental, and perhaps have become uber-local (to the exclusion of all non-local food), thus losing a necessary global perspective on the food supply.  He proposes reducing the consumption of meat as a primary means of reducing environmental impact.  One of his claims is that if a meat-eater gives up meat at one meal per week, the impact is identical to eating exclusively locally-grown food for one week (plants take less energy to produce than meat, ostensibly).

McWilliams squares off against two noted experts in the field, including my hero Michael Pollan, author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma and In Defense of Food.

Pollan doesn’t quite agree with everything McWilliams posits (especially about the importance of “organics”), though he does concede McWilliams’ point about locavore fundamentalism: eating exclusively locally precludes you from enjoying a vast array of foods (think coffee, bananas, cinnamon) and he doesn’t believe that anyone would do the 100-Mile Diet as anything more than “a stunt”.  Even the creators of the 100-Mile Diet (whom I met last fall) admit that it’s a dreadfully difficult, almost Sisyphean task.

One wonderful comment from Pollan during this interview: he hails the Farmers Market as more than a food source – it serves a civic function as the new “town square” where people gather to meet friends and a generally get more “connected” to the world around them.  I get that!  I love going to the market, even if I don’t buy anything, because I always run into friends, and get to be part of my community.

I am definitely adding McWilliams’ book to my “Plan to Read” list.

Well, I think that’s enough of an intro: Listen to the segment HERE.

• You are lazy
• You are stupid
• You are ugly
• You have no self-control
• You smell
• You are worthless
• You deserve no consideration or respect
• You are not a human being

I’ve been the recipient of all of those misconceptions (well, maybe not the “smell” one), and it disgusts me when people make a snap judgment on someone just because they are not “skinny”.  So, when something like PETA’s latest “campaign” comes along, it just makes me want to SCREAM:

PETA's latest billboard campaign for vegetarianism

So, “whales”, huh?  Very nice.   A campaign against meat-eaters AND overweight people.  On behalf of myself and everyone else larger than the socially acceptable size 2:  PETA – you can go f*** yourselves.  You just continually reinforce the fact that you’re a bunch of media-whore morons.

ps – if the “whales” are so disgusting, why would you want to save them?

]]> http://wendalicious.com/2009/08/18/859/feed/ 4 wendalicious PETA http://wendalicious.com/2009/07/23/welcome-to-the-nanny-state/ http://wendalicious.com/2009/07/23/welcome-to-the-nanny-state/#comments Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:39:16 +0000 wendalicious http://wendalicious.wordpress.com/?p=699 ]]>

But it's the trans fats that make them taste so good and stay fresh so long!

As of July 1, Phase II of Albany County’s Trans-Fat ban has gone into effect.  Meaning restaurants now cannot serve ANY product that contains artificial trans-fat, and must be able to provide documentation to prove same.   Their website has all the details, in case you were wondering what foods may be affected by this ban.  Essentially, anything that once tasted good will no longer.  Make sure to check out their helpful brochure! It’s full of smiling chefs, happy to comply with Big Brother!

Seems that everything tasty is affected by this ridiculous legislation- even your favorite Albany County ice cream stand is not immune.

What a crock.  My advice: don’t buy baked goods in Albany County.

http://blog.timesunion.com/tablehopping/7860/study-vegetarian-less-likely-to-get-cancer/

Thanks, Steve!  You tipped the scales for me!