Continued from yesterday’s post about 2011 food trends and news.  This post turned out to be a little, uh, angry.  For which I apologize in advance.

What will be OUT in 2011

  • Someone needs to buy me this for my birthday. February 3.

    Cupcakes. This is less a prediction and more a fervent wish to the gods.

  • Comfort food in general.  Mac & cheese, tomato soup, meatloaf, mashed potatoes.  While we may see a bit more of this at the beginning of the year, we’re likely to see less as our economy perks up a bit.  People aren’t going to be as likely to seek solace in a giant plate of carbohydrates.
  • High Fructose Corn Syrup.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.  HFCS is an unnecessary filler ingredient designed to get us all addicted to cheap junk food.  Consumers have wised up to this sickening “corn syrup” marketing, and are demanding more and more that the foods they buy not contain any HFCS.  Let’s continue to stand up for good food and not garbage.
  • Trans-fats.  The war against the trans fat continues, and I don’t expect the food manufacturers will be winning.  Again, it was a groundswell of educated consumers that have led this charge, and the list of municipalities passing trans-fat bans is getting larger.  I don’t agree with legislating common sense, though – I’d rather see the free market vote with its dollars on this one.
  • Nutritionally-Enhanced Processed Foods. Thanks to Michael Pollan and his Food Rules, consumers are finally beginning to read labels and understand that a six-inch-long list of unpronounceable chemicals is not indicator of real food.  “Fortified with 12 Vitamins and Minerals” and “Enriched with Omega-3” simply means that all of the inherent nutritional value was stripped away in processing, and some was added back in later.  That’s not good; that’s crap.
  • Pretentious Wine Snobbery. It’s not *quite* out, but I tend to think that the wine-buying public is getting tired of the nonsense and puffery, and being made to feel stupid because of a preference for “inferior” wines.  At least I’m beginning to feel that way.  I like Riesling, and I’m not ashamed to say it.  All you jerks who look down your nose at me for liking a “sweet” wine can go to hell.
  • Tapas. So 2007.

Things I Wish Weren’t Happening But Are

  • Offal Cooking.  You know, the parts you’re supposed to THROW AWAY after you cut out the good parts.  Kidney, liver, brains, thymus, bladder.  Maybe 2012 will see the end of snout-to-tail eating.  We’re not living in caves anymore.
  • What is YOUR hot dog made from?

    Artisanal Hot Dogs. What’s artisanal about lips and assholes?  Or, are they thinking about getting rid of the assholes?  If so, I don’t wanna eat ’em.  The asshole is where the flavor is.  I can’t believe I just wrote that.

  • Low-End Junk Food Trying to Pretend that it’s Hip and Trendy
  • Dirt. Abandoning sauces, some chefs are turning to dried, crumbled, powdered ingredients to add texture and flavor. Noma in Copenhagen, Denmark, offers radishes with toasted-malt “dirt.”   What the f—?

One final prediction for 2011: More vitriol in my blog posts.  It amuses me.