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What I Am Sick Of: Food Edition

January 1, 2013

Usually, at the turn of the new year, I will reflect on past trends and attempt to predict the ones we may expect in the coming months. I also usually give this post some forethought, so I’m able to provide links as well as cogent arguments for my prognostications. Not this year. This year, I’m just fed  up, and I need to publicly announce my latest irritations.

  • diet-coke-with-baconBacon in everything, on everything, and next to everything – chocolate cookies, vodka, toothpaste, jewelry. We get it. Bacon is tasty. Do we have to make it a cult?
  • Gluten-free everything. Unless you have Celiac disease, or are legitimately gluten-intolerant or gluten-sensitive. But it seems a lot of people are adopting GF as a healthier way of eating. A gluten-free diet does not have any significant health benefits, unless of course eating it will kill you. Please let me reiterate: if you or your child is allergic to gluten, you are exempt from my rantings. I get it, and completely understand.
  • The phrase “crave-worthy”.
  • Guy Fieri. I know I’m not alone on this one.
  • Fried eggs on top of Every. Fucking. Thing. Sorry for the obscenity, but why do people continually slap eggs on top of shit? And then take a goddamn picture of it? Oh, and don’t get me started on the pictures of everything.
  • The word “nom” or the phrase “om nom nom”. They just make my skin crawl.
  • Being preached at about the latest trendy food obsessions: wheat-free, vegan, slow carb, no carb, no sugar, no fat, no dairy. Do what you want, really. I will never, ever criticize your food choices (well, unless you’re eating celery. That’s just wrong), and expect the same in return. We have one life, and if I want to waste it eating stale Cool Ranch Doritos, I will (but I really won’t because those things are f-ing disgusting). Don’t judge me (or tase me, bro).

I’m glad I got that off my chest. Listen, I’ll try to be more positive in 2013. I will TRY.

Happy New Year!

9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 1, 2013 9:19 pm

    Totally. Except for the egg thing.

    My kid can’t really make proper “y” sounds at the beginning of words yet, so he says “nommy food!” It’s cute, but I’m looking forward to a real “yummy” soon, because I kind of can’t stand that “trend,” either.

    • January 1, 2013 9:26 pm

      That’s so cute.

      And, I just don’t like eggs. Except baked in yummy cookies or something…

  2. January 1, 2013 9:28 pm

    Nice vent, Wendy!

  3. January 1, 2013 9:36 pm

    Bacon flavored diet coke? Yuck!! We found bacon as well as pickle flavored candy canes this year…..nasty!!!

    • January 1, 2013 9:57 pm

      That bacon diet Coke was a joke…I hope. And I saw those candy canes. I was horrified.

  4. January 2, 2013 10:00 am

    I like eggs on top of everything. And taking pictures of eggs on top of everything. But I also like eggs on their own. <–this is why I had high cholesterol when I was 9 years old.

    • January 2, 2013 11:43 am

      I support your right to eat and photograph eggs any way you wish; I just don’t have to like it ( and would prefer not to see it).

  5. williepitt permalink
    January 25, 2013 1:51 pm

    Gluten can cause problems without killing you. People afflicted with celiac disease, such as my daughter, don’t get killed by gluten; they just get obnoxiously sick.

    • January 25, 2013 2:02 pm

      I am so sympathetic to her plight – it must seriously suck to have such a reaction to something that’s present in so many things.

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