AI thought the name was funny, and the price was right

You know me – I love a bargain. And I’ve been loving finding those “end of bin” signs at Heinen’s, which signal a great deal to be had. With my last few purchases, I’ve been rewarded for my frugality. This time, not so much.

A few bottles of Bob’s Your Uncle “Bob White” wine had been languishing on the shelf for a number of weeks, sporting the “end of bin” sign, indicating that Heinen’s will no longer be carrying that particular bottle, for whatever reason (I really should ask the wine guy why they decide to discontinue wines). I felt bad for poor Bob, caninopomorphising (is that a word?) him into the shelter dog that everyone keeps passing by because he just doesn’t “look right” but deep down he’s a hidden treasure and he will love you forever and be your best friend for all time if you’ll only just adopt him and give him a try please please please! So, I decided to spend the $4.99 and see what ol’ Bob was all about.

I was also amused by the fact that the wine was in a brown glass beer bottle, complete with crimped metal cap.

Yep, that's a bottlecap. On a beer bottle.
Yep, that’s a bottlecap. On a beer bottle.

Well, Bob was very disappointing. I mean the wine, not my husband, so you all just shut up for a minute.

The nose of a decent wine will give you a good indication of what’s to come – fruit, mineral, berries, slate, etc. But Bob just sits there in the glass and smells like nothing. Nothing! Strike 1, Bob.

The first sip of a decent wine should give you a sense of the myriad flavors that may unfold on your palate – citrus, grass, black cherry, etc. But Bob gave me only some faint apple, some pear, some Pine-Sol. Strike 2, Bob.

The finish of a wine should leave a delightful impressions, with lingering pleasant notes. Bob left me quickly, with a taste of rubbing alcohol. Strike 3, Bob. You’re out.

Save your money, even if it’s only $5.

The upside: At least Bob’s website is amusing and self-aware. They embrace that Bob’s Your Uncle wines (they have both red and white) is “500 mL or 2 standard servings of wine in a dumpy brown bottle.”