“Free coffee” is almost always “bad coffee”.

You can never find coupons for healthy, nutritious food.  They’re always for processed crap that’s full of high-fructose corn syrup.

In a world with millions of starving people, we are a nation of greedy, malnourished fat-asses.

California is the perfect place for people who love the idea of fresh produce year round.  The *sad* part of this?   California’s government  is too f—ed up for me to actually want to live there.

There are people who actually eat Slim Jims.

I always *mean* to buy the fresh produce and nutritious snacks, but every time I go to Trader Joe’s I come home with pecan pralines, chocolate covered almonds, and 12 different kinds of cookies.

Polenta is delicious, but Fritos are easier.

Low fat macaroni and cheese always tastes better in theory than in reality.

Necco wafers are cute and nostalgic, but they make better classroom chalk than candy.

I hate salad.

The words “natural”, “gourmet”, and “artisanal” denote exactly nothing anymore; they’ve been coo-opted by Big Food and diluted to meaninglessness.

I have yet to hear anyone say anything complimentary about British cuisine.

The chocolate coating on Klondike Bars tastes weird.

I don't think it's really chocolate.