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Sad Food Realities

June 25, 2010

“Free coffee” is almost always “bad coffee”.

You can never find coupons for healthy, nutritious food.  They’re always for processed crap that’s full of high-fructose corn syrup.

In a world with millions of starving people, we are a nation of greedy, malnourished fat-asses.

California is the perfect place for people who love the idea of fresh produce year round.  The *sad* part of this?   California’s government  is too f—ed up for me to actually want to live there.

There are people who actually eat Slim Jims.

I always *mean* to buy the fresh produce and nutritious snacks, but every time I go to Trader Joe’s I come home with pecan pralines, chocolate covered almonds, and 12 different kinds of cookies.

Polenta is delicious, but Fritos are easier.

Low fat macaroni and cheese always tastes better in theory than in reality.

Necco wafers are cute and nostalgic, but they make better classroom chalk than candy.

I hate salad.

The words “natural”, “gourmet”, and “artisanal” denote exactly nothing anymore; they’ve been coo-opted by Big Food and diluted to meaninglessness.

I have yet to hear anyone say anything complimentary about British cuisine.

The chocolate coating on Klondike Bars tastes weird.

I don't think it's really chocolate.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 26, 2010 6:52 am

    I don’t know why but I love when you post random lists.

    A big ol’ hell yeah to the coupon thing. I want coupons for broccolini and onions, you know, things I actually eat. Hamburger Helper is BOGO? Well isn’t that fantastic for someone (probably obese with diabetes) but not me.

    I’d move to California for the fresh produce (the gov’t part doesn’t scare me all gov’t is the same in different clothes IMO) but the earthquakes scare me…and that prediction about breaking off into the sea.

    Don’t go to Trader Joe’s with the intention of buying fresh produce. Their produce sucks. You’re better off at your local farmer’s market or supermarket. Trader Joe’s is for staples that are less expensive but better quality than the regular supermarket brand. No HFCS and partially hydrogenated oils in most of their products make them appealing. If you bake, their dark and bittersweet pound plus chocolate blocks can not be beat. Good quality chocolate on the cheap.
    I like the quality of some of their frozen vegetables. Their nuts and snacky stuff are always yummy and interesting. Crackers, cereal, canned beans…

    • wendalicious permalink
      June 26, 2010 4:33 pm

      I think I understand why only the Big Food (Purveyors of Crap) companies put out coupons – they’re they only ones who can afford to do it, and those horrible foods are likely their biggest profit-makers.

      I know what you mean about the TJ produce – I bought blueberries that went moldy about twelve minutes after I got them home. And I love their frozen foods – so many things to choose from, and they’re the only place I’ve ever found vegetable potstickers. Grocery stores around here only carry pork, if they carry any at all.

      • wendalicious permalink
        June 26, 2010 4:35 pm

        And, I never noticed the chocolate before, but I will give it a look the next time I’m there!

  2. June 27, 2010 8:54 pm

    I like British cuisine.

    • wendalicious permalink
      June 27, 2010 9:17 pm

      My colleague is dating a British bloke, and he has promised me a British food tasting. What should I try?

      • July 4, 2010 12:02 am

        Any dessert. Fish and chips. Beer. Tea. Curry. A full English breakfast. Crumpets. Yum!

  3. Your Colleague permalink
    June 28, 2010 1:32 pm

    I never said I didn’t like everything that British cuisine offered…don’t forget about my beloved Banoffee Pie! 😉

    • wendalicious permalink
      June 28, 2010 7:05 pm

      OK, I stand corrected. But, besides the Banoffie Pie, what do you LIKE? Beans on toast? Spotted Dick? Bubble and Squeak?

      And, do you prefer to remain anonymous, or can I call you by your real name, YC?

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